Who would want a chaste marriage?

I get a lot of these couples asking me if it’s a good idea to do long-term chastity.

Most of the time this question comes up because one of them is big-time into it and the other one has to be slowly warmed up to this out-there idea.

Every once in awhile I get these couples who both click on this game and they are ready to go all in.

She gets a kick out of a submissive toy of a husband that she can treat like a live-in butler, paying all the bills and never getting to even see her naked (much less consummate the deal).

She’s got all the boyfriends she wants on the side, for sure. That’s part of the arrangement.

He’s got a thing for being her sub, including all the total denial of any sexual contact.

What I say to them isn’t complicated.

But it is worth repeating here.

Chastity, which is really about power and control over the other person, can be a fine and exciting part of your romantic life.

But I’m going to bring out my yellow highlighter and scribble all over “part of”

Here’s the thing about these non-monogamous fantasies.

You get hot off of the idea.

Then the other partner gets hot off the idea.

Before long, you’re feeding off each other’s energy. The only way to go is up. More intense, more exotic, more rule-breaking, taboo naughtiness. If it doesn’t cross a boundary, it’s not for you.

This is how addictive drugs work.

The more you take, the more you need. Pretty soon it takes an enormous dose just to feel normal.

I don’t advise any couples to bottle up their fantasies.

But I do strongly suggest that you take occasional time-outs to think through what you’re doing.

Is this something you really want?

Is it possible that maybe… just maybe… this idea that sounded sexy while you were heavy breathing on third base isn’t a good idea in reality?

Tease and denial can be great fun for many couples.

But what it isn’t, is a recipe for a long-term marriage.

While I advise every couple to be open-minded, there are still limits. And if you cross those limits, you’re no longer a couple, in a relationship.

An unfaithful marriage has to be a marriage, first and before anything else, or you’re just roommates with a weird secret.

You’re a grown adult and Miss Blaze can’t tell you what to do with yourself and your dirty parts.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

For more tough love with your weird sexual problems, click here and Bella’s twisted (but sensual) brain is all yours:

Be good to each other 😉

xoxo
~ Bella Blaze

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