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When her "true self" is unfaithful
You can't be happy until you accept who you really are
My bedroom has been on the front lines of the non-monogamy discussion for almost 10 years.
Cheating is always on our minds. It’s part of our exploration.
Yeah, it’s weird. We’re weird people.
You know what?
So are you!
Normal is overrated.
Who is normal anyway? Is he walking around with a t-shirt so you can pick him out of the line at the ice cream stand?
Everybody’s got their own quirks.
The monogamous relationship, whether it’s causal dating or a lifelong marriage, looks more and more like the abnormal situation.
Some people need to stick together with their partner. The emotion, the romance, the connection, and the erotic expressions come in a package.
Unfaithfulness, even in spirit, is enough to crush them.
And who can blame them?
We get invested in each other on a deep level.
And it’s hard to separate emotional connections from physical contact.
But that force drawing us together is always balanced out by wondering.
What if it’s better over there?
What if this good thing I’ve got here is really boring and I’m missing out?
What would it be like to try it with him (or her)… just that once?
Just to see?
Maybe it’s different.
It’s never different.
You want it to be different… and maybe your partner’s feeling guilty and inadequate, and really wants it to be different, for your sake.
Don’t be fooled.
It’s all sex.
How you relate to sex is nine-tenths mental.
What gives you the tingles?
What makes your body ache with desire?
That’s all in your head.
We don’t really cheat in my household. It’s all mental fantasy. Erotic candy.
The imagination is way more fertile… and exciting… than a few minutes of anti-climactic coupling.
That’s for us.
You may be very different.
I know one couple who have sex with other people more often than with each other. They’re far more loving and connected than all my friends now dealing with broken marriages.
The two of them realized that they could never be sexually monogamous.
Instead of letting that kill the good energy they had with each other…
… they accepted that part of themselves.
They made it their own.
Whatever you do, realize: sex is complicated. It comes with hot feelings and warm, wet, squishy bodies with lots of fluids.
What you decide for yourself, for your partner, and for your relationship is best done from a position of genuine love and authentic desire.
What do you really want?
Do you really want to be unfaithful to your partner… or is it boredom making you look for fresh excitement?
Do you really want her to jump in bed with another guy… or are you feeling guilty?
Whatever you do…
Choose it because it’s really you.
If you want to choose your best self and enjoy your romantic and sexual life, then you can subscribe and have this wisdom drop right into your inbox.
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Be good to each other ;-)
~ Bella Blaze
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