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Ghosted after opening up
Imagine you’re out on a date with your SO.
Boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever. You’re out to a nice lunch. Having a good time.
Then she drops this on you:
“What do you think about having an open relationship?”
How do you respond?
Don’t think about what you would say.
While you hold that scene in your mind, pay attention to how you feel.
What’s going on in your body?
What do you feel in your heart?
What emotions come to mind? Do you notice anything weird or unusual in your body? Heart rate, blood moving in odd ways, any odd tingles?
I saw a story recently about a guy whose GF did this to him. Dropped that anvil right into his lap.
He ghosted her ASAP. I think it was some kind of LDR thing so this wasn’t hard for him to do.
Here’s the thing.
While everyone will respond differently, there’s only a few different ways this anvil-drop can go.
You will either be…
… ready to end the relationship right now
… intrigued, curious, and “into that”
… or shocked, stunned, and completely blind-sided by what you just heard.
Depending on your preferences and tendencies and so forth.
The thing about confessing a desire like this, with no prior conversations or set-up, is that you don’t know how the other person is going to react.
I’ve heard from married couples that have been together for decades and still had no idea how the other would react to the “opening up” proposition.
If you’re going to have that talk, you need to move into it. Prepare the field. Set it up. Test the waters. All those cliches.
However you call it, do it.
You might be pleasantly surprised and get that “tell me more” reaction.
But odds are that you are asking for a major blow-up.
One that could be avoided with a few simple steps to lead into it.
Failure to do this is not only irresponsible. It is disrespectful to your partner. If you don’t care, that’s on you… but don’t be surprised when your selfishness backfires.
If you're a mature enough adult to act like a real grown-up, click here and begin your journey into Bella’s twisted (but sensual) universe:
Be good to each other 😉
~ Bella Blaze
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