Everybody's got they own unique style
I sat here this morning in my velvet-covered office thinking about all the ways men and women have learned how to hurt each other out of love.
So they say.
Have you ever read Gary Chapman’s book Five Love Languages? Oh, that’s a must read, honey. The book dives into the different ways that people express affection for others… and how they expect to receive it back.
If you don’t speak your partner’s love language, it is like trying to read a map in Mandarin Chinese when you only speak English.
She expects touching and he likes giving gifts.
He wants to hear words from her… but she’s big on spending quality time together, even if they don’t say much.
Little differences, so you might think… but those differences create friction which can blow up your whole “thing” together.
Think of all the times you’ve felt frustrated by your partner.
Imagine all the opportunities a frustrated SO has to fall into orbit around a mysterious third person who DOES speak her language…
Even if she doesn’t make the leap to Cheater, there’s still that moment where she’s hypnotized by his words and deeds, all because he knows how to read her map.
There’s two ways this goes wrong.
You send the wrong messages to each other.
You try to communicate in a style that isn’t authentically you.
People are like radio stations on two legs.
We’re always broadcasting and receiving signals from each other. Some of us have our antennas fine-tuned to other people. Others are oblivious. We’re transmitting on wavelengths that sync up perfectly with that special guy… or screech like feedback on the mic with the incompatible.
If you send the wrong messages, or worse yet, if you’re sending out messages that don’t come from your true self, you’re going to end up attracting (and pushing away!) the wrong people.
That’s a recipe for boredom… for repeating the same patterns with the same kinds of people… and making your romantic life a miniature hell.
When I speak to couples and heartbroken singles about their tough times with infidelity, including “unorthodox” relationships, I always remind them that you must be true to yourself above all else.
If you WANT to explore wild things, crazy things, and that’s coming from inside you, then go forth and be merry.
But don’t do it because you think it’s expected, or because you think he or she wants that from you, or because TV and movies and internet pr0n made you believe it’s right.
Maybe your partner just isn’t right for you.
Or maybe that fantasy you think you want actually isn’t for you.
Miss Blaze is into the wild side, the dark side, the fun side… but I want you to be happy and true to yourself. You aren’t going to have fun if you aren’t right inside yourself.
Thus concludes today’s nugget of relationship wisdom.
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Be good to each other 😉
~ Bella Blaze
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