What to do when your wife wants sex too much
Why her interest in getting Tab A into Slot B as quickly as possible might backfire on your amorous bedroom fun.
Men are out there complaining about their women with libidos shrinking by the hour, and yet there are men with wives wanting it too much.
Women get less interested in sex the longer they’ve been with their partner. This is well known. Familiarity and routine dry up the 😺 like the Sahara dry-season.
But some husbands have a different kind of problem with their wives wanting sex.
Like this nice reader who wrote into me a few days ago explains:
Hello Ms Blaze,
I love my wife and we have a great sex life. She’s always into it and we have a great chemistry together. But sometimes I want to slow down and enjoy the foreplay with mouths and hands and exploring together. But she just wants to get straight into the action. She wants me inside her right away and wants to finish.
I tried telling her that I like to go slow and warm up gradually. She says it’s too much, and we need to get right to it.
I want to enjoy her body more and spend more time with her in a sexy way but she doesn’t want that. what can I do?
He doesn’t say how often his wife is interested in experiencing his manhood. “Great sex life” and “great chemistry together” don’t exactly give me the full picture.
You might think that “wanting him inside right away” is a sign that she really enjoys intercourse and doesn’t want to fluff around with foreplay and build-up. Maybe.
I would wager, if I were a wagering girl, that he isn’t getting laid all that often. My impression is that this wife is in that stage of relationship where the carnal act becomes a duty that she does for him. She takes it as a chore that she wants to get out of the way as quick as she can.
That’s why she wants to get straight to the PIV business, no messing around.
I sympathize with my reader. He’s experiencing a desire shared by many of us who enjoy sex beyond the stage of youthful lust.
When you’re young, you’re in a hurry to get the parts together as fast as you can.
You don’t know if she’ll change her mind. Or he’ll be too drunk to keep it up. Or someone will walk in on you.
When you’re young, you’re in a hurry
There’s a good reason for that.
PIV is fantastic and nothing can ever replace it.
It really is great when the parts fit together. 😊
But as you get a little older, hormones settle down, and you get more comfortable with what you want…
Rushing to the main event can become a let down.
If you reach that point…
Sex works best when deferred.
Deferred? How do you defer sex?
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You may have heard that old saying “the brain is the ultimate erogenous zone.”
We all know about our naughty parts and how good they feel when we touch them.
What is less appreciated is that images and fantasies in the mind do a good share of the erotic work.
What turns you on isn’t physical stimulation by itself. What turns you on is the promise. To see what I mean, let’s take a slight detour into horror stories.
Stephen King says there are three levels of horror.
Level 1 is the gross-out. That’s the blood and guts you expect from slasher movies from the 70s and 80s where kids at summer camp meet a serial killer. Gross-outs trigger physical disgust with graphic imagery.
Level 2 is encountering the unnatural monster and dealing with the shock and revulsion of its impossible strangeness. You see the giant furry spiders and respond by screaming and running away.
The third and final level is terror, which works through feelings of dread and anticipation. You don’t need to see anything terrible in order to experience terror. You only need to expect something unknown, which creates anxiety, uncertainty, and suspense in your mind.
You want to know a secret?
Those three levels perfectly explain different levels of sexual excitement.
Level 1 is graphic porn. You see the nudity, the boy and girl parts, and graphic depictions of penetration and sexual fun.
Level 2 is erotic romance that shows you the sex wrapped up in a story, without relying on the shock and scandal of graphic imagery.
Level 3 is building anticipation for the main event, using the imagination, without ever showing it off.
The reason my reader is asking for more than PIV sex with his wife is because of a powerful truth contained in Level 3.
B-movie slasher films can be a fun way to spend a Saturday night, but they don’t leave you satisfied. They’re like eating a bag of sugar. The same goes for sex that rushes to an orgasm.
All the fun is in the slow build-up, the anticipation, and the promise of pleasure.
Nothing, I say nothing, is as sexy, erotic, and satisfying as the images in your mind.
The main source of the enjoyment and the pleasure of sex is in the anticipation of sex.
When your partner wants to rush into bed, rush into your pants, rush to PIV, rush to orgasm…
It kills 90% of the experience.
You’re watching the killer rampage. But there’s no suspense. There’s no tension. No teasing. No seduction in the mind. No time to build up anticipation.
And that’s where all the fun is.
The longer you defer the act of penetration and orgasm, the more fun, exciting, and thrilling the act becomes. No present is ever as great as the anticipation you feel for it.
Which is exactly why…
Cuckolding
Hotwifing
Tease & Denial
Dom/sub play
S&M
Bondage
Chastity
Edging
and other kinds of deferred sex and frustrated orgasms
…are such powerful and reliable sexual turn-ons.
If you want to enjoy the untapped powder-keg of sexual delights, play with deferral.
Defer orgasm.
Defer penetration.
Defer nudity.
Defer sexual contact for two weeks (and see how energized you feel…)
If your spouse or sexy-partner isn’t on board, like my poor frustrated reader?
Show her (or him!) this article.
… or find a good horror movie to make the case for you 😁
Meanwhile, for more helpful tips and glimpses into the twisted realms of human eroticism, make sure you’re subscribed 👇
Til next time!
xoxo
~Bella Blaze 😘
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